One life to live eterna

One life to live eterna DEFAULT

And This Is Life Eternal

I speak to you, the rising generation—youth and young adults, single or married—you who are the future leaders of this, the Lord’s Church. With all the wickedness, chaos, fear, and confusion in the world today, I speak to you with clarity about the majesty and blessing of coming to know God.

Jesus Christ taught many truths that explain Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness and your place in it. I’ll focus on two of these to help you understand your identity as a child of God and know your purpose in life.

First: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”1

Second: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.”2

Please keep these truths in mind—they teach why—as I seek to describe how you and all of us can come to know God.

Know Him through Prayer

My young friends, we can begin to know God through prayer.

On April 7, 1829, 22-year-old Oliver Cowdery began his labors as scribe for 23-year-old Joseph Smith. They were young—just like you. Oliver asked for a confirmation from God regarding the Restoration and his work in it. In response, he received the following revelation:

“Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind. …

“Yea, I tell thee, that thou mayest know that there is none else save God that knowest thy thoughts and the intents of thy heart. …

“… If you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart. …

“Did I not speak peace to your mind … ? What greater witness can you have than from God?”3

When you pray with faith, you will feel God’s love as His Spirit speaks to your soul. No matter how alone or uncertain you may feel at times, you are not alone in this world. God knows you, personally. As you pray, you will come to know Him.

Know Him through Scripture Study

As you study the scriptures, you not only learn about the Savior, but you can actually come to know the Savior.

In April 1985, Elder Bruce R. McConkie spoke in general conference—just 13 days before he died. He concluded with this testimony:

“I am one of his witnesses, and in a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears.

“But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way.”4

Those of us who heard Elder McConkie speak that day have never forgotten how we felt. As he began his talk, he revealed why his witness was so powerful. He said:

“In speaking of these wondrous things I shall use my own words, though you may think they are the words of scripture. …

“True it is they were first proclaimed by others, but they are now mine, for the Holy Spirit of God has borne witness to me that they are true, and it is now as though the Lord had revealed them to me in the first instance. I have thereby heard his voice and know his word.”5

As you study and ponder the scriptures, you too will hear God’s voice, know His words, and come to know Him. God will reveal His eternal truths to you, personally. These doctrines and principles will become part of who you are and will emanate from your very soul.

In addition to individual study, studying the scriptures as a family is important.

In our home we wanted our children to learn to recognize the voice of the Spirit. We believe that happened as we studied the Book of Mormon each day as a family. Our testimonies were strengthened as we talked about sacred truths.

Scripture study becomes the channel for the Spirit to give each of us a customized tutorial. As you study the scriptures each day, alone, and with your family, you will learn to recognize the voice of the Spirit and will come to know God.

Know Him by Doing His Will

In addition to our praying and studying the scriptures, we need to do God’s will.

The Savior is our perfect example. He said, “I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.”6

When the resurrected Savior appeared to the Nephites, He said, “Behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.”7

You and I do the will of the Father by honoring our covenants, keeping the commandments, and serving God and our fellowmen.

My wife, Rhonda, and I have parents who are just regular people—probably a lot like your parents. But one thing I love about our parents is that they dedicated their lives to serving God, and they taught us to do the same.

When Rhonda’s parents had been married for just a couple of years, her 23-year-old dad was called to serve a full-time mission. He left behind his young wife and their 2-year-old daughter. Then his wife was called to serve with him during the last seven months of his mission—leaving their daughter in the care of relatives.

A few years later, now with four children, they moved to Missoula, Montana, so her dad could attend the university. However, they had been there only a few months when President Spencer W. Kimball and Elder Mark E. Petersen extended a call to my father-in-law to be the first president of the newly created Missoula stake. He was only 34. Thoughts of the university were left behind as he sought to do the Lord’s will—not his own.

My parents have served in the temple for more than 30 years—Dad as a sealer, Mom as an ordinance worker. They also served five full-time missions together—in Riverside, California; Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia; Nairobi, Kenya; the Nauvoo Illinois Temple; and the Monterrey Mexico Temple. In Mexico they worked hard to learn a new language, which wasn’t easy at 80 years of age. But they sought to do the will of the Lord rather than to pursue their own desires in life.

To them, and to all such dedicated Latter-day Saints throughout the world, I echo the words spoken by the Lord to the prophet Nephi, the son of Helaman: “Blessed art thou, … for those things which thou hast done … with unwearyingness … , [for thou] hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments.”8

As we seek to do God’s will by faithfully serving Him and our fellowmen, we feel His approval and truly come to know Him.

Know Him by Becoming like Him

The Savior tells us that the very best way to know God is to become like Him. He taught: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”9

Worthiness is essential to becoming like Him. He commanded, “Sanctify yourselves; yea, purify your hearts, and cleanse your hands … that I may make you clean.”10 Starting on the road to becoming like Him, we repent and receive His forgiveness, and He cleanses our souls.

To help us as we progress toward the Father, the Lord gave us this promise: “Every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am.”11

Through our faith in His atoning sacrifice, the Savior cleanses us, heals us, and enables us to know Him by helping us become like Him. Mormon taught, “Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, … that ye may become the sons [and daughters] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him.”12 As we strive to become like God, He can make of us more than we could ever make of ourselves.

Know Him by Following Mentors

To help us in our striving, God has given us role models and mentors. I want to share my feelings about one of mine, Elder Neal A. Maxwell. He constantly sought to submit his will to the will of the Father in his effort to become like God.

More than 20 years ago, he shared his feelings with me after he had just been diagnosed with cancer. He told me, “I want to be on the team, on this side [of the veil] or that side. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines. I want to play in the game.”13

Over the next few weeks, he was reluctant to ask God to heal him; he just wanted to do God’s will. His wife, Colleen, pointed out that Jesus’s first cry in the Garden of Gethsemane was “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” Only then did the Savior say, “Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.14 She encouraged Elder Maxwell to follow the Savior’s example, to ask for relief and then submit his will to God’s will, which he did.15

After suffering through extensive, debilitating treatments for nearly a year, he was totally and completely back “in the game.” He served for seven more years.

I had several assignments with him during those subsequent years. I felt his kindness, compassion, and love. I witnessed his increased spiritual refinement through his ongoing suffering and his continued service as he strove to become like the Savior.

The ultimate role model and mentor, available to all of us, is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”16 “Come and follow me.”17

My young brothers and sisters, knowing God is the quest of a lifetime. “And this is life eternal, that [we] might know … the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom [the Father] hast sent.”18

“Shall we not go on in so great a cause? … Courage, [my young friends]; and on, on to the victory!”19

God knows you and invites you to know Him. Pray to the Father, study the scriptures, seek to do God’s will, strive to become like the Savior, and follow righteous mentors. As you do, you will come to know God and Jesus Christ, and you will inherit eternal life. This is my invitation to you as an ordained special witness of Them. They live. They love you. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


  1. John 3:16.

  2. John 17:3.

  3. Doctrine and Covenants 6:15–16, 22–23.

  4. Bruce R. McConkie, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” Ensign, May 1985, 11; emphasis added.

  5. Bruce R. McConkie, “The Purifying Power of Gethsemane,” 9; emphasis added.

  6. John 6:38.

  7. 3 Nephi 11:11; emphasis added.

  8. Helaman 10:4.

  9. 3 Nephi 27:27.

  10. Doctrine and Covenants 88:74.

  11. Doctrine and Covenants 93:1; emphasis added.

  12. Moroni 7:48; emphasis added.

  13. See similar statements in Bruce C. Hafen, A Disciple’s Life: The Biography of Neal A. Maxwell (2002), 19.

  14. Matthew 26:39; emphasis added.

  15. See Bruce C. Hafen, A Disciple’s Life, 15.

  16. John 14:6.

  17. Matthew 19:21.

  18. John 17:3; emphasis added.

  19. Doctrine and Covenants 128:22.


One Life to Live

American television series

For the hip hop group, see 1 Life 2 Live.

One Life to Live (often abbreviated as OLTL) is an American soap opera broadcast on the ABC television network for more than 43 years, from July 15, 1968, to January 13, 2012, and then on the internet as a web series on Hulu and iTunes via Prospect Park from April 29 to August 19, 2013.[3][4][5] Created by Agnes Nixon, the series was the first daytime drama to primarily feature ethnically and socioeconomically diverse characters and consistently emphasize social issues.[3]One Life to Live was expanded from 30 minutes to 45 minutes on July 26, 1976, and then to an hour on January 16, 1978.

One Life to Live heavily focuses on the members and relationships of the Lord family. Actress Erika Slezak began portraying the series' central protagonist Victoria Lord in March 1971[3] and played the character continuously for the rest of the show's run on ABC Daytime, winning a record six Daytime Emmy Awards for the role.[6] In 2002, the series won an Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series.[7]One Life to Live was the last American daytime soap opera taped in New York City.

After nearly 43 years on the air, ABC canceled One Life to Live on April 14, 2011.[8][9] On July 7, 2011, production company Prospect Park announced that it would continue the show as a web series after its run on ABC,[10] but later suspended the project.[11] The show taped its final scenes for ABC on November 18, 2011, and its final episode on the network aired on January 13, 2012, with a cliffhanger.

On January 7, 2013, Prospect Park resumed its plan to continue One Life to Live as a daily 30-minute web series on Hulu and iTunes via The Online Network.[12][13] The relaunched series premiered on April 29, 2013.[14] The new series was plagued with several behind-the-scenes problems, most notably a litigation between Prospect Park and ABC regarding the misuse of One Life to Live characters on General Hospital.[15] On September 3, 2013, Prospect Park suspended production of the series until the lawsuit with ABC was resolved.[15]


Impressed with the ratings success of NBC's Another World, ABC sought out Another World writer Nixon to create a serial for them. Though Nixon's concept for the new series was "built along the classic soap formula of a rich family and a poor family," she was "tired of the restraints imposed by the WASPy, noncontroversial nature of daytime drama."[3]One Life to Live would emphasize "the ethnic and socioeconomic diversity" of the characters in its fictional setting.[3] Nixon would go on to create All My Children in 1970 and Loving in 1983.

The initial main titles of the series featured the image of a roaring fireplace, a visual representation of the originally proposed title — Between Heaven and Hell — ultimately changed to One Life to Live to avoid controversy.[16]One Life to Live's first sponsor was the Colgate-Palmolive company, who also sponsored The Doctors. ABC bought the show from Nixon in December 1974 when they purchased all stock to her Creative Horizons, Inc. The show was originally a half-hour serial until it was expanded to 45 minutes on July 23, 1976, and to one hour on January 16, 1978.[4]

Series history

One Life to Live is set in the fictional city of Llanview, a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.[3] The show continually centers on the wealthy, White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Lord family, with the working-class Polish AmericanWolek family, the less wealthy Irish CatholicRiley family, and the African-American Sadie Gray present at the series' inception.[3]One Life to Live has been called "the most peculiarly American of soap operas: the first serial to present a vast array of ethnic types, broad comic situations, a constant emphasis on social issues, and strong male characters."[3]

From the debut episode, One Life to Live centered on fictional character Victoria "Viki" Lord (originated by Gillian Spencer), portrayed by six-time Daytime Emmy Award winner Erika Slezak for longer than any other One Life to Live series actor, from March 1971 through the series finale January 13, 2012,[3] as well as the 2013 web revival.[17] Long-suffering heroine Viki weathered love and loss, widowhood, rape, divorce, stroke, and breast cancer, and was plagued by dissociative identity disorder (or DID, once known as multiple personality disorder) on and off for decades. Viki also had heart problems and received a transplant from her dying husband Ben Davidson (Mark Derwin). Featured male protagonist Dr. Larry Wolek also appeared at the debut episode and for 36 years, played from 1969 until the character's last appearance in 2004 by Emmy-nominated actor Michael Storm.

The apparent murder of Marco Dane (Gerald Anthony) by Victoria Lord in 1979 and the ensuing prostitution storyline of Larry Wolek's wife, Karen Wolek (Judith Light), garnered widespread critical acclaim and several Daytime Emmy Awards. The 1980s brought great ratings success with the introduction of the Buchanan family and the rise to prominence of Viki's scheming sister, Tina Lord (notably played by Andrea Evans). In the 1990s, the show introduced one of the first married interracial couples in soap operas with attorneys Hank and Nora Gannon (Nathan Purdee and Hillary B. Smith respectively), and the story of the involvement of Viki's estranged brother, Todd (Roger Howarth), with the rape of Marty Saybrooke (Susan Haskell), was called "one of the show's most remembered and impactful."[18]

One Life to Live celebrated its 40th anniversary in July 2008 with the return of several former cast members[19] and by revisiting notable plot lines from its past.[20] "Deceased" characters and even creator Agnes Nixon appeared in a storyline in which Slezak's Viki dies and visits Heaven, an homage to Viki's 1987 heavenly trip.[19][20][21][22]Daytime Emmy Award-nominee Andrea Evans and others returned for a tribute to Tina Lord's famous 1987 plunge over the Iguazu Falls[19][20][21][22] and the 1990 royal wedding in fictional Mendorra.[23][24][25] And like the 1988 Old West storyline in which the character Clint Buchanan steps back 100 years in the past, on July 21, 2008, Robert S. Woods began an extended storyline in which his character Bo Buchanan finds himself transplanted back into his own past—specifically 1968, the year of the series' inception—witnessing the Buchanan family's backstory unfold.[19][20][21][26]Soap Opera Digest subsequently named One Life to Live their "Best Show" of 2008, calling it "the year's most compelling" series and citing a myriad of story lines the magazine found "heartbreaking," "stunning," and "gripping," as well as complimenting its risk-taking and "diverse and talented" cast.[27]

On August 4, 2009, it was announced that One Life to Live, which taped in New York City, would move from ABC Studio 17 at 56 West 66th Street to Studio 23 at 320 West 66th Street, Manhattan in early 2010. This studio was made available by the move of sister serial All My Children to a production facility in Los Angeles, where that series began taping on January 4, 2010.[28][29] The new studio was 30% larger than One Life to Live's previous one, and both One Life to Live and All My Children were to be taped and broadcast in high-definition television (HD) after their moves.[29]

On October 8, 2009, ABC announced that it had postponed the transition to HD for One Live to Live, citing the economic climate at the time, though an ABC spokesperson stated that they "...will re-examine it next year."[30] On December 6, 2010, One Life to Live became the fifth daytime serial to broadcast in the 16:9 aspect ratiowidescreen picture format but still not in true HD, after Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless, and fellow ABC soap operas All My Children and General Hospital, though those series are produced in high-definition.[31] ABC's picture disclaimers at the start of the program list it as being aired in "digital widescreen" rather than HD. The September 17, 2010, series ending of As the World Turns left One Life to Live as the last remaining American daytime serial being produced in the New York metropolitan area as well as the only one produced outside the Los Angeles metropolitan area.


Rumors about a potential cancellation of One Life to Live arose from TV Guide Canada in late 2009, after ABC announced that it was moving All My Children from New York City to Los Angeles.[32]One Life to Live's lone presence in New York among the ABC soap operas, along its non-transition to HD and its struggling ratings, made it a program at risk of cancellation. The article from TV Guide Canada also pointed that once One Life to Live is cancelled, some of the actors could be offered to join the cast of All My Children in Los Angeles.[32] In May 2010, rumors of possible cancellation of not only One Life to Live, but this time of also All My Children and General Hospital, resurfaced when Walt Disney Television officially announced that it was shutting down Soapnet, effective in 2012. After a failed attempt to give Aisha Tyler a talk show in 2009, ABC restarted auditioning a few pilot shows as candidates for its daytime lineup. At this point, All My Children had the lowest ratings so rumors began heating up in March 2011 about the show's demise, with hints that One Life to Live was safe for a while longer.[33] However, early in April 2011, rumors suggested that both All My Children and One Life to Live were in danger of cancellation.[34]

After months of cancellation rumors, ABC announced on April 14, 2011 that All My Children and One Life to Live would end their runs. ABC cited "extensive research into what today's daytime viewers want and the changing viewing patterns of the audience."[9] The network stated it was replacing One Life to Live with a new production entitled The Revolution, which would focus on health and lifestyles.[35] While the cancellations of both soap operas were announced on the same day, One Life to Live was to remain on the air four months longer because its replacement would not be ready until later. In response to the cancellations, vacuum cleaner manufacturer The Hoover Company withdrew its advertising from all ABC programs out of protest.[36][37][38]

The final episode aired on January 13, 2012, with villainess Allison Perkins (Barbara Garrick) narrating her views about the people of Llanview. During the last minutes of the episode, Todd Manning (Howarth) is put under arrest for the murder of twin brother Victor Lord, Jr. (Trevor St. John). The show ends with the discovery that Victor Lord, Jr. is still alive and has been kidnapped by Perkins. Perkins closes the 43-year-old soap opera by breaking the fourth wall by throwing a One Life to Live script at Victor saying to him: "But why spoil what happens next. You of all people should know things are rarely what they appear". The decision to conclude One Life to Live with an open-ended story is because the serial was supposed to continue on another network at the time the last scenes were taped (see section below).

On the day of the final episode, The View hosted a tribute to One Life to Live where several actors were invited including Erika Slezak, Robert S. Woods, Robin Strasser, Hillary B. Smith, Kassie DePaiva, James DePaiva, Andrea Evans, Judith Light and the show's creator Agnes Nixon.

The departure of One Life to Live ended a 62-year history of daytime television soap operas taped in New York which started in 1950 with the CBS's daytime drama The First Hundred Years.[5]

Cast and characters

The season 44 (2011–12) and official ABC Daytimefinale cast photo of One Life to Live.
Front row (l-r): Portrait of Philip Carey, Patricia Elliott, Hillary B. Smith, Robert S. Woods, show creator Agnes Nixon, Erika Slezak, Jerry verDorn, Melissa Archer, Ilene Kristen
Second row: Peter Bartlett, Shenell Edmonds, Eddie Alderson, Austin Williams, Farah Fath, John-Paul Lavoisier, Kassie DePaiva, Roger Howarth, Kristen Alderson, Michael Easton, Mark Lawson, Bree Williamson, David A. Gregory
Third row: Lea DeLaria, Josh Kelly, Terri Conn, Shenaz Treasury, Andrew Trischitta, Ted King, Florencia Lozano, Sean Ringgold, Kearran Giovanni, Kelley Missal, Lenny Platt, Nic Robuck.

Main articles: List of One Life to Live cast members and List of One Life to Live characters

The show originally concentrated on the wealthy, White Anglo-Saxon ProtestantLord family, the less wealthy Siegels (among the first attempts to showcase either an interfaith marriage or Jewish character on daytime television), the middle-class Riley family and Wolek family, and the African American Sadie Gray.[3] Heiress Victoria Lord and her extended family remained a prime focus until the series ended. Over the years many other families were introduced, most notably the Buchanan family and the Cramer family, who intermarried with the Lords and also remained a fixture on One Life to Live until its end.

Several actors performed on One Life to Live for 20 years or more, including Erika Slezak, Michael Storm, Robert S. Woods, Philip Carey, and Robin Strasser. Actors from the series who went on to greater fame with their prime time, feature film or theatre work include Tommy Lee Jones, Al Freeman Jr., Laurence Fishburne, Judith Light, Phylicia Rashad, Blair Underwood, Marcia Cross, Roma Downey, Mario Van Peebles, Jessica Tuck, Ryan Phillippe, Hayden Panettiere, Nathan Fillion, Renée Elise Goldsberry, and Tika Sumpter.


In 2002, the popularity of antiheroTodd Manning (Roger Howarth) prompted ABC to market a rag doll of the character, complete with his signature scar.[39][40] First offered for sale on April 29, 2002, the doll was pulled on May 7, 2002, after a backlash begun when The Jack Myers Report "harshly criticized the network's judgment" on creating and releasing a doll based on Manning, a character who had notably been convicted of rape in 1993.[39][40][41]The New York Times later quoted then-ABC President Angela Shapiro stating, "I was insensitive and take total responsibility for it. I should have been sensitive to the history of the character and I wasn't."[39]

Shortly after receiving a March 2005 GLAAD Media Award for its coverage of LGBT issues,[42][43]One Life to Live was met with criticism when married district attorney Daniel Colson (Mark Dobies) was revealed to have murdered two people to cover up the fact that he was secretly gay.[44][45]GLAAD itself criticized the storyline "for reinforcing the idea that being gay is something to be ashamed of," while TV Guide noted "It's hard to disagree with those who say that's a lousy representation of gay folks."[44] Executive Producer Frank Valentini defended the story, saying, "This is a story about the harsher side of intolerance and about one man not being true to himself. There are going to be meaningful, frank discussions that come out of this."[44] Then-head writer Dena Higley explained, "The number one rule of soap opera is never cut drama. Daniel being gay and keeping that a secret is a dramatic story."[44]

In June 2009, actress Patricia Mauceri (a performer on the series since 1995) was replaced in her role as Latin matriarch Carlotta Vega, reportedly after voicing personal religious objections to a planned storyline in which Carlotta would be supportive of a gay relationship.[46][47][48]

Historical storylines

Prospect Park

Unsuccessful revival attempt

On July 7, 2011, ABC announced that it had licensed the rights to One Life to Live and All My Children to television, film and music production company Prospect Park, allowing both series to continue producing new first-run episodes beyond the conclusion of their television runs on ABC, with the series moving to a new Hulu-style online channel currently in development by Prospect Park; as a result of the company's acquisition of the two soap operas, One Life to Live and All My Children, would become the first soap operas to transition their first-run broadcasts from traditional television to internet television.[10]

On September 16, 2011, executive producer Frank Valentini was retained by Prospect Park for that serial as well as All My Children when both shows would move to The Online Network.[49] On September 28, 2011, Prospect Park confirmed that One Life to Live would start on its The Online Network internet channel in January 2012, but without specifying the exact date.[50] On September 30, 2011, it was announced that head writer Ron Carlivati would be also heading to the internet version of the show.[51]

Since the agreement made between ABC and Prospect Park was not limited to internet television and did allow for One Life to Live to be broadcast on traditional television, there was an announcement on August 3, 2011, about a possibility of One Life to Live airing on a cable television.[52][53] On October 5, 2011, the project to bring One Life to Live to cable was reiterated in a New York Times article, where it was revealed that Prospect Park planned to first air episodes on The Online Network, then make them available on video on demand and, then weeks later, on cable television.[54]

On November 23, 2011, Prospect Park officially suspended its plans to continue the show after its run on ABC.[11][55] Reasons given by Prospect Park included funding problems and poor negotiations with the unions representing the cast of One Life to Live. Writers Guild of America and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, which respectively represent the writer and the actors, have expressed disappointment over Prospect Park's decision.[56] Though not one of the reasons given by Prospect Park, Deadline Hollywood suggested that the company's lack of success in finding a cable network to carry the show may have been instrumental in the company's decision to not pursue the project.[57]

Despite its fruitless attempt to save the series, Prospect Park had succeeded in retaining 13 actors to sign for the online venture, compared to only two actors for All My Children. Matriarch actress Erika Slezak (Victoria Lord) was among the 13.[58] The 12 other actors were Melissa Archer (Nathalie Buchanan), Kassie DePaiva (Blair Cramer), Michael Easton (John McBain), Shenell Edmonds (Destiny Evans), Josh Kelly (Cutter Wentworth), Ted King (Tomás Delgado), Florencia Lozano (Tea Delgado), Kelley Missal (Danielle Manning), Sean Ringgold (Shaun Evans), Andrew Trischitta (Jack Manning), Jerry verDorn (Clint Buchanan) and Tuc Watkins (David Vickers).[59]

2013 revival

The new cast of Prospect Park's One Life to Liverevival.
(l-r) Jerry verDorn, Kassie DePaiva, Melissa Archer, Robert S. Woods, Andrew Trischitta, Laura Harrier, Tuc Watkins, Erika Slezak, Josh Kelly, Florencia Lozano, Kelley Missal, Robert Gorrie.

On January 7, 2013, Prospect Park made an official statement about its plans to restart production of One Life to Live and All My Children as web series.[60][61][62] The two soap operas will serve as anchor shows for The Online Network (Prospect Park's new streaming television that was supposed to be launched during the original attempt in 2011).[60][62] Prospect Park inked deals with SAG-AFTRA and DGA.[60] Prospect Park confirmed that former coordinating producer, Jennifer Pepperman has signed on as the new executive producer for the web reboot of One Life to Live.[60] Creator Agnes Nixon will work as consultant for the new web series.[60] On January 13, 2013, it was confirmed that soap opera writers Thom Racina and Susan Bedsow Horgan were named as the new Head Writers of One Life to Live.[63] On April 9, 2013, it was reported that Horgan citing "personal reasons" has stepped down as co-HW, leaving Racina as OLTL's sole HW.[64]

On January 22, 2013, Prospect Park released a full cast of the reboot of One Life to Live who signed on, which include Melissa Archer (Natalie Buchanan), Kassie DePaiva (Blair Cramer), Josh Kelly (Cutter Wentworth), Florencia Lozano (Tea Delgado), Kelley Missal (Danielle Manning), Erika Slezak (Victoria Lord), Hillary B. Smith (Nora Buchanan), Robin Strasser (Dorian Lord), Andrew Trischitta (Jack Manning), Jerry verDorn (Clint Buchanan), Tuc Watkins (David Vickers) and Robert S. Woods (Bo Buchanan). Recurring actors who have signed on are Sean Ringgold (Shaun Evans), Shenaz Treasury (Rama Patel), and Nick Choksi (Vimal Patel).[17]

Production of One Life to Live began on February 25, 2013[65] with taping of new episodes beginning on March 18, 2013.[66] The series premiered on April 29, 2013, at 12PM Eastern[67] The revived One Life to Live is a 30-minute program taped in Stamford, Connecticut.[65] It is available on Hulu and Hulu Plus as well as various iTunes applications including iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch.[65]

On May 17, 2013, The Online Network announced that All My Children and One Life To Live will no longer air five days a week together, due to viewer ratings that have been seen as certain patterns that resemble more closely the typical patterns of online viewing rather than how one would watch traditional television. Starting May 20, 2013 All My Children and One Life To Life will be presented in a new schedule, with AMC airing on Mondays and Wednesdays and OLTL airing Tuesdays and Thursdays. The recap shows MORE All My Children and MORE One Life To Life will also combine together as one show airing on Fridays. The following day on May 18, 2013, both shows were noticeably missing from the FX Canada website and schedule, and subsequently were available on iTunes Canada, it was later revealed that FX Canada dropped "All My Children" and "One Life To Live" due to the reduction of episodes, the carriage agreement called for four episodes a week of both shows. With the reduction, FX Canada has said "the agreement is no longer valid."[68][69] On May 20, 2013, the first episodes of the new All My Children and One Life To Live were available worldwide on The Online Network's YouTube page, TOLNSoaps.[70]

On May 24, 2013, in a press release Prospect Park announced through Agnes Nixon that Racina will be out as head writer of One Life to Live and replaced by current screenwriters Jessica Klein and Marin Gazzaniga.[71][72]

On June 5, 2013, due to a labor dispute with the I.A.T.S.E.All My Children and One Life to Live were forced into an early hiatus with the writers, directors and editors still working; there were talks of production being moved out of state, but those plans were later shelved.[73][74] On June 20, 2013, a deal was reached between Prospect Park and the Union and taping will resume on August 12, 2013.[75] On June 25, 2013, TOLN stated that there will be a scheduling switch for One Life to Live and All My Children. Starting on July 1 (Monday) all episodes of the week for both shows, will be released on Mondays.[76]

Beginning July 15, 2013, All My Children and One Life to Live aired for a 10-week limited engagement on the Oprah Winfrey Network Monday through Thursday at 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM.[77]

One Life to Live's first-season finale aired on August 19, 2013.[78]

On September 3, 2013, a report from the Los Angeles Times stated that One Life to Live's second season will be put on hold while Prospect Park deals with its lawsuit against ABC over loaned to General Hospital's treatment of One Life to Live characters, when they crossed over in 2012.[79] In December 2016 the lawsuit was dismissed, with the rights to the series reverting to ABC.[80]

Transition to General Hospital

On December 1, 2011, two weeks after One Life to Live finished taping its final scenes,[81] ABC confirmed that former executive producer Frank Valentini and head writer Ron Carlivati would assume the same roles on General Hospital effective January 9, 2012.[82]

Several former One Life to Live actors - Kassie DePaiva, Roger Howarth, Michael Easton, and Kristen Alderson - moved with Valentini and Carlivati and reprised their characters on General Hospital.[83] With the exception of DePaiva, all of these actors were eventually put on contract and stayed permanently with the show. On May 9, 2012, Florencia Lozano joined the cast, reprising her One Life to Live role of Téa Delgado in a recurring capacity.[84]

On April 18, 2013, after Prospect Park had announced they would be reviving the series, Prospect Park filed a lawsuit against ABC, alleging ABC failed to honor its part of their licensing agreement. Among the issues named in the lawsuits included ABC's alleged attempts to sabotage Prospect Park's revival of the soap by killing off One Life to Live characters loaned to General Hospital (Cole and Hope Thornhart), failure on ABC's part to consult Prospect Park on storylines involving One Life to Live characters (breaking up popular One Life to Live couple, John and Natalie to pair Michael Easton's John McBain with former Port Charles love interest, Kelly Monaco's Sam Morgan, the death of Tea Delgado's baby and the subsequent switching of her baby with Sam Morgan's live baby, orchestrated by Howarth's Todd Manning), as well as claiming one One Life to Live character, Tomas Delgado, was actually General Hospital character, Lorenzo Alcazar.[85] Effective immediately, the three One Life to Live characters bound to contracts with ABC were to exit the show, and the three actors who played them, Kristen Alderson, Michael Easton and Roger Howarth were rewritten back onto the General Hospital canvas playing new characters, while Howarth also crossed his character of Todd back over to One Life to Live for its inaugural season.

On September 3, 2013, Prospect Park announced that production of One Life to Live would be on hold until their litigation with ABC is settled.[86]


Throughout the show's history, the plot lines of One Life to Live have been established as existing in the same fictional universe as other ABC-owned daytime series, in particular Agnes Nixon's All My Children, which premiered in 1970. As noted from time to time in both series, fictional Pine Valley—the setting of All My Children—is located in Pennsylvania near One Life to Live's Llanview. Over the years, many characters have crossover from one series to another in both short appearances and extended runs.[87] As early as 1968, General Hospital'sDr. Steve Hardy appeared in Llanview to consult on Meredith Lord's blood disease as a means to lead General Hospital viewers to the new series; similarly, One Life to Live'sDr. Larry Wolek visited All My Children shortly after its premiere in 1970.[87]

In 1979, when Viki Riley was on trial for the murder of Marco Dane, she was defended by Pine Valley attorney Paul Martin. Two characters that also appeared on All My Children are Sadie Gray (Lillian Hayman), when she sang for the wedding of Dr. Frank and Caroline Grant, and Delilah Ralston (Shelly Burch), when she designed a special dress to be worn by Erica Kane (Susan Lucci).

In 1999, Daytime Emmy Award-winner Linda Dano[88] returned to One Life to Live as Rae Cummings, a character she had previously played on the series from 1978 to 1980.[89][90][91] In a 2000 move of network synergy designed to "entice viewers to tune into soap operas that they might not have usually watched," then-President of ABC Daytime Angela Shapiro orchestrated Dano's concurrent appearance as Gretel on the three other ABC daytime dramas at the time — All My Children, General Hospital, and Port Charles — in an extended crossover storyline[87] which was the first time a daytime character had ever appeared on four series.[89][92][93] Gretel's search for the child she had given up for adoption takes her to All My Children, where she discovers in 2000 that her own birth mother is Pine Valley's Myrtle Fargate.[94] Following clues to Port Charles and General Hospital, Gretel finally finds her daughter back in Llanview on One Life to Live: Skye Chandler, herself a former All My Children character who had relocated to One Life to Live in 1999.[87] Skye's adopted All My Children father Adam Chandler appears on One Life to Live in 2001, and Gretel initially identifies Skye's biological father as Alan Quartermaine of General Hospital. Both women subsequently appear on that series, with Skye moving to General Hospital full-time in 2001 and Gretel returning to One Life to Live until 2004, making some appearances on General Hospital later in 2002 and 2003.

A December 30, 2003, visit by One Life to Live'sPaul Cramer to his estranged secret wife Babe Carey on All My Children[93] ultimately leads to an extensive 2004 "baby switch" storyline which features crossovers of over 20 characters between the two series. With his sister Kelly Cramer desperate for a child to save her marriage after miscarrying her own, Paul finds himself delivering the babies of both Babe and her friend Bianca Montgomery during a rainstorm and subsequent flood in nearby Pine Valley on March 24, 2004. Paul stages a crash with his medical evacuation helicopter; he takes AJ Chandler for Kelly,[87] gives Miranda Montgomery to Babe, and tells Bianca that her baby had died in the accident. Unaware of the child's origins, Kelly brings Babe's infant back to Llanview, passing him off as her child with her husband Kevin Buchanan. Months later, Babe discovers that her daughter is really the grieving Bianca's, but remains silent and allows Paul to manipulate her. Meanwhile, a devastated Kelly discovers that Paul had stolen her son from his mother and, desperate for cash, he blackmails Kelly by threatening to reveal the secret to Kevin. Bianca's daughter is returned to her for Christmas 2004, and once Kevin learns the truth, he and Kelly return Babe's son as well in 2005.[95]

While One Life to Live was off the air from February 2012 to March 2013, the characters of Todd Manning, Starr Manning and John McBain moved to the setting of General Hospital, Port Charles, New York.

After the Prospect Park lawsuit was dismissed, the character of Nora Buchanan made appearances on General Hospital in 2017.

Executive producers and head writers

Main article: List of One Life to Live crew

Executive producers

Head writers

July 1968 — July 1972Agnes Nixon
Paul Roberts
Don Wallace
August 1972 — September 1973Agnes Nixon
Gordon Russell
September 1973 — October 1978Gordon Russell
November 1978 — March 1980Gordon Russell
Sam Hall
March 1980 — May 1982Sam Hall
Peggy O'Shea
July 1982 — January 1983Sam Hall
Henry Slesar
February 1983 — June 1983Henry Slesar
June 1983 — December 1983John William Corrington
Joyce Hooper Corrington
December 1983 — June 1984Sam Hall
Peggy O'Shea
July 1984 — June 1987Peggy O'Shea
July 1987 — July 1990S. Michael Schnessel
September 1990 — May 1991Craig Carlson
Leah Laiman
May 1991 — August 1991Craig Carlson
August 1991 — January 1992Michael Malone
January 1992 — September 1995Josh Griffith
Michael Malone
September 1995 — March 1996Michael Malone
April 1996 — December 1996Leah Laiman
Jean Passanante
Peggy Sloane
December 1996 — Spring 1997Jean Passanante
Peggy Sloane
Spring 1997 — March 29, 1998Claire Labine
Matthew Labine
March 30, 1998 — December 31, 1998Pam Long
January 1999 — September 1999Jill Farren Phelps (de facto, uncredited)
September 1999 — January 2001Megan McTavish
January 2001 — January 31, 2003Lorraine Broderick
Christopher Whitesell
February 3, 2003 — March 7, 2003Josh Griffith
March 10, 2003 — March 22, 2004Josh Griffith
Michael Malone
March 23, 2004 — November 24, 2004Michael Malone
November 29, 2004 — December 10, 2004Brian Frons
Frank Valentini
December 13, 2004 — May 7, 2007Dena Higley
May 8, 2007 — September 10, 2007Dena Higley
Ron Carlivati
September 11, 2007 — February 14, 2008Ron Carlivati
February 15, 2008 — May 1, 2008Gary Tomlin (2007–08 Writers Guild of America strike)
May 2, 2008 — January 13, 2012Ron Carlivati
April 29, 2013 — July 1, 2013Thom Racina
Susan Bedsow Horgan
July 1, 2013 — July 15, 2013Thom Racina
Susan Bedsow Horgan
Jessica Klein
July 22, 2013 — August 19, 2013Thom Racina
Jessica Klein


One Life to Live and many of its actors and crew have been nominated for dozens of awards, winning on many occasions. Erika Slezak has received six Daytime Emmy Awards for her acting, a feat tied only by Anthony Geary and Justin Deas.[6]

In 1993, the series won its first GLAAD Media Award for its storyline on homosexuality and intolerance[96] featuring newcomer Ryan Phillippe as Billy Douglas, a teenager who amidst scandal confides his homosexuality in Andrew Carpenter, played by Robert Krimmer.[97] The character is the first openly gay teenager featured in a television series,[98][99][100][101] and is considered groundbreaking in daytime television.[96][102][103][104] The story arc also included an on-air ceremony for the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt.[97][105] In 2005, the series was awarded another GLAAD Media Award for its coverage of LGBT issues in the 2004 coming out storyline of gay character Mark Solomon (Matt Cavenaugh).[42]One Life to Live won the same award again in 2010[106] for a well-publicized storyline in which police officer Oliver Fish comes out and reunites with his former college boyfriend and medical school student Kyle Lewis.[107][47][108][109]

Daytime Emmy Award wins

Wins in other categories
  • 2009 Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design for a Drama Series
  • 2009 Outstanding Achievement in Makeup for a Drama Series
  • 2009 Outstanding Drama Series Directing Team
  • 2009 Outstanding Original Song
  • 2008 Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design for a Drama Series
  • 2008 Outstanding Achievement in Lighting Direction for a Drama Series
  • 2008 Outstanding Drama Series Directing Team
  • 2008 Outstanding Drama Series Writing Team
  • 2008 Outstanding Original Song (two awards for two One Life to Live songs, which tied)
  • 2007 Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction/Set Decoration/Scenic Design for a Drama Series
  • 2007 Outstanding Achievement in Multiple Camera Editing for a Drama Series
  • 2005 Outstanding Achievement in Music Direction and Composition for a Drama Series (tied with All My Children)
  • 2005 Outstanding Achievement in Technical Direction/Electronic Camera/Video Control for a Drama Series
  • 2003 Outstanding Achievement in Live & Direct to Tape Sound Mixing for a Drama Series
  • 2001 Outstanding Achievement in Live & Direct to Tape Sound Mixing for a Drama Series
  • 2001 Outstanding Achievement in Technical Direction/Electronic Camera/Video Control for a Drama Series
  • 2000 Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design for a Drama Series
  • 2000 Outstanding Achievement in Live & Direct to Tape Sound Mixing for a Drama Series
  • 2000 Outstanding Achievement in Music Direction and Composition for a Drama Series
  • 2000 Outstanding Original Song
  • 1994 Outstanding Drama Series Writing Team
  • 1987 Outstanding Drama Series Writing Team
  • 1984 Outstanding Achievement in Technical Excellence for a Daytime Drama Series
  • 1984 Outstanding Direction for a Daytime Drama Series
  • 1983 Outstanding Direction for a Daytime Drama Series
  • 1982 Outstanding Achievement in Any Area of Creative Technical Crafts: Lighting Direction (Everett Melosh)
  • 1976 Outstanding Individual Director for a Daytime Drama Series (David Pressman)
  • 1974 Outstanding Technical Direction and Electronic Camerawork

Other awards

  • Writers Guild of America Award (1986, 1993)
  • Directors Guild of America Award (1993, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2012)

Broadcast history

ABC cemented its reputation as a youth-oriented network in daytime with the addition of One Life to Live to its schedule, with much of the rest of its lineup consisting of soap operas like Dark Shadows,sitcom reruns, and game shows packaged by Chuck Barris. One Life to Live replaced the short-lived The Baby Game, in a three-way shuffle with Dark Shadows and The Dating Game. The network placed the new serial at 3:30 PM Eastern, against CBS's established hit The Edge of Night and the popular NBC game You Don't Say!. Despite the tough competition, the intense tone of the plot and strong characters allowed the show to get a leg up on You Don't Say, wearing that game down to the point of its cancellation in September 1969; NBC replaced the Tom Kennedy-hosted game in that time slot with three unsuccessful serials: Bright Promise, Return to Peyton Place, and How to Survive a Marriage.

One Life to Live initially enjoyed fair-to-middling ratings, but rose rapidly as it entered the 1970s, along with the rest of ABC's daytime lineup. Matters greatly improved for One Life to Live in 1972, when CBS relocated The Edge of Night in response to packager Procter & Gamble's demands. The four-year-old show topped the ratings for the first time over CBS' declining The Secret Storm, and later, the game Hollywood's Talking, which ran for only 13 weeks.

By 1975, NBC became a serious player in that time slot for the first time in over five years when it expanded its strong soap opera Another World to an hour, with its second half occupying the 3:30 timeslot. One Life to Live lost a substantial audience share, but its lead-in, General Hospital, experienced even worse losses. ABC then expanded both One Life to Live and General Hospital to 45 minutes, with each composing half of a 90-minute block between 2:30 PM and 4 PM. Beginning on July 26, 1976, One Life to Live assumed the first position, at 2:30. ABC bet its hopes on viewers staying tuned past the half hour, making them unlikely to switch channels to Another World and All in the Family reruns on CBS (or The Match Game in the case of General Hospital fans). This approach showed some promise, until November 7, 1977, when CBS expanded Guiding Light to an hour. As One Life to Live struggled, its neighbor General Hospital was in danger of cancellation after a 15-year run. In order to save General Hospital (which was airing at 3:15 PM) from cancellation, ABC expanded both soaps to an hour beginning on January 16, 1978; The $20,000 Pyramid was moved to the noon Eastern timeslot, where it remained until its run ended in June 1980. ABC contemplated an expansion of The Edge of Night to a full hour if either of these shows were cancelled.

General Hospital rose rapidly to the top spot in the Nielsen ratings by 1979.[123] As for One Life to Live, from its tenth birthday onward, its competitors declined in popularity. Search for Tomorrow, for instance, spent its last several months on CBS against the last half of One Life to Live. Its replacement, Capitol, did little better, and after its cancellation, CBS aligned As the World Turns against One Life to Live and Another World, a configuration that stayed in place until Another World's cancellation in 1999. The 1980s saw One Life to Live reach the height of its popularity, with an estimate of 9 million viewers early in the decade.[123] The show typically ranked between the second and the fourth position in the 1980s.[123]

Since 1991, One Life to Live returned to the middle of the pack, but its numbers declined, in common with all other soap operas.[123] By the decade's end, the show rested near the bottom of the ratings pack, and it continued to hover around the lower reaches of the weekly ratings throughout the 2000s in terms of total number of viewers; however, the show tended to rank in the mid-range for the target demographic of women aged 18–49, often higher than sister show All My Children and usually would still rank first in its timeslot in the key demographic.[124] During the 2000s (decade), One Life to Live ran about even with As the World Turns, with NBC's Another World replacement Passions trailing significantly.

The 2009-2010 season was a particularly difficult year for One Life to Live. During the week of June 28, 2010, the show ranked last among all soap operas with 2.1 million viewers, compared to 2.3 million for As the World Turns.[125] As One Life to Live entered the 2010-2011 season, ratings improved, but not enough to prevent ABC from cancelling the program on April 14, 2011. After the cancellation announcement, One Life to Live began to surpass General Hospital in total number of viewers, but General Hospital continued to dominate One Life to Live in several specific categories, most notably the key demographic of women between 18 and 49 years old, usually prioritized by daytime networks. By November 2011, One Life to Live had dethroned General Hospital in every category. Overall, One Life to Live was the third highest rated program among the five remaining soap operas in its last season, trailing The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful, but ahead of General Hospital and Days of Our Lives. The show averaged 2.6 million viewers on a daily basis during its final weeks. Its final episode on January 13, 2012 drew more than 3.8 million viewers, one of the highest ratings in the history of soap opera finales.[126]

The One Life to Live continuation's ratings proved impressive. The first episode was the second most downloaded TV episode on iTunes and second most watched episode on Hulu, with the first place on both sites going to All My Children which premiered the same day.[127]


The show aired on ABC Daytime for the entirety of its original television run.

  • July 15, 1968 – July 23, 1976: 3:30–4:00 pm (2:30–3:00 pm, CT/PT)
  • July 26, 1976 – January 13, 1978: 2:30–3:15 pm (1:30–2:15 pm, CT/PT)
  • January 16, 1978 – January 13, 2012: 2:00–3:00 pm (1:00–2:00 pm, CT/PT)

The show aired on Hulu, Hulu Plus and iTunes during its revival.

  • April 29, 2013 - May 9, 2013: one new episode a day, Monday through Thursday.
  • May 13, 2013 - June 28, 2013: a new episode each Tuesday and Thursday.[128]
  • July 1, 2013 - August 19, 2013: two new episodes every Monday.[129]

Reruns of the show aired on OWN from July 15, 2013 to September 2013.

  • July 15 – August 2, 2013: 2:00–4:00 pm (1:00–3:00 pm, CT/PT)
  • August 5 – September 6, 2013: 1:30–2:00 pm (12:30–1:00 pm, CT/PT)


Soapnet aired classic One Life to Live episodes at 6:00 am (5:00 am CT/PT), 7:00 am (6:00 am CT/PT), and 8:00 am (7:00 am CT/PT).

Starting July 15, 2013, OWN began a 10 week trial run of both One Life to Live and All My Children on its daytime lineup. Episodes of One Life to Live are broadcast at 1:30 P.M., following All My Children which airs at 1:00 P.M., Mondays through Thursdays.

See also


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One Life to Live storylines (1980–1989)

One Life to Live is an American soap opera that was broadcast from 1968 to 2013, on the ABC network from 1968 to 2012. The series starts with One Life to Live storylines (1968–1979). The plot continues in One Life to Live storylines (1980–1989). The plot in the next decade is outlined in One Life to Live storylines (1990–1999) and the story concludes in One Life to Live storylines (2000—2013).

1980 - 1983[edit]

The early 1980s were a time of big changes for One Life to Live. The Wolek sisters were the spotlight characters of the show as the new decade began. The major storyline on OLTL in 1979 was Viki’s trial for the murder of Marco Dane (Gerald Anthony). But Anthony was so popular with fans that he quickly returned (a quick rewrite revealed Marco's heretofore unknown twin brother Mario was killed instead; Marco impersonated him for several years). Karen discovered Marco’s secret, but realized he was genuinely trying to rehabilitate, so she didn’t expose him. Meanwhile, Jenny was treated badly by her husband Brad who then manipulated her into taking him back over and over again. Brad also raped Karen. Jenny was in a high-risk pregnancy at the time, and the news of the rape sent her into early labor. When the baby died in the nursery, Karen forced Marco to switch the child with fellow hooker Katrina Karr's child. Jenny finally left Brad for good and married Dr. Peter Janssen, who was later killed in a car accident. It would be several years before she found out the truth about ‘her’ baby and in a heartbreaking sequence, gave her daughter back to Katrina.

Joe Riley succumbed to a brain tumor and died in the fall of 1979, only weeks before Viki delivered their second son (whom she named Joseph in his memory). Viki buried herself in work as publisher of the Banner, and in looking after Tina, who was perpetually involved with one bad-news boyfriend after another. Although she deliberately avoided a new relationship, she attracted two prospective love interests. One was Ted Clayton, Tina’s father (actually stepfather, though she didn’t know it at the time) who was more interested in Viki’s wealth than her. The other was Clint Buchanan (Clint Ritchie), who took over Joe’s position as chief editor of the Llanview Banner. Viki and Clint clashed both professionally and personally – Clint was a no-nonsense cowboy who initially saw Viki as a pampered primadonna. Eventually though true love won out and, despite numerous schemes by Ted, Viki and Clint were married. Ted was finally gunned down, prompting a devastated Tina to leave Llanview for a while.

Quickly following Clint to Llanview were his brother Bo Buchanan (Robert S. Woods), and father Asa Buchanan (Phil Carey). Asa was a Texas oil baronmillionaire who had a love-hate relationship with his sons, and practically everyone he knew. The Buchanan clan was an obvious attempt to imitate the then wildly popular prime-time soap Dallas, but the Buchanans proved to be such big hits that they soon dominated the entire show. Most of the Wolek and Lord family members who anchored OLTL since its inception were written out, or (in the case of Viki) married into the Buchanan family. (Ironically the Buchanan family has remained a popular fixture on the daytime soap to this day, outlasting their inspirations on Dallas by more than a decade.) Asa was as much a scoundrel as J.R. Ewing in his business dealings but he was also an irrepressible ladies' man. Almost immediately after arriving in Llanview, Asa wooed Brad Vernon's sister Samantha, who was decades younger than he was. What no one knew was that Asa's first wife Olympia (mother of Clint and Bo) was still alive, still legally Asa's wife, and being held prisoner by him. Throughout the 1980s, Asa took one young bride after another - including Delilah Ralston, Becky Lee Abbott, Pamela Stuart and Gabrielle Medina. He also locked horns with his sons, particularly Bo, who had his own romantic interest in both Delilah and Becky Lee.

The role of Dorian was recast with Robin Strasser, who arguably became the definitive portrait of the character. While continuing to be a thorn in Viki’s side (she briefly ‘romanced’ Clint when he and Viki were on the outs), her character was fleshed out a little more. She married Herb Callison, the district attorney who prosecuted Viki for murder. Although she expected to be able to control him, Herb proved to be more than a match for her, and their marriage was a tempestuous affair, although surprisingly long-lasting for two soap opera characters. Also complicating Dorian’s life was the abrupt arrival of Cassie Howard, the illegitimate daughter whom Dorian had given up years earlier. Dorian at first resisted becoming a mother to Cassie, but eventually she accepted the girl into her home.

Karen’s "housewife hooker" storyline was rehashed in 1981 by having Karen go undercover, posing as a prostitute while investigating the murder of her cousin Vinnie Wolek. Much like every soap in the early 1980s, OLTL aped the wild success of General Hospital’s “Luke & Laura” story by having Karen & Marco framed for murder and having to go on the run from the mob. The reality-based tales took a turn towards the absurd in the early 1980s, as Karen and Larry had control chips implanted in their brains by the evil Dr. Ivan Kipling (Jack Betts) and Larry had to save Karen from Kipling's jungle hideaway.

1983 - 1986[edit]

In 1983 Karen fell in love with fugitive Steve Piermont (Robert Desiderio, Light's real-life husband.) In spite of Larry urging her to remain in Llanview, she decided she would rather go on the run with a man who needed her than stay with her old demons.

Karen’s sister Jenny fell in love with David Rinaldi (Michael Zaslow), a concert pianist, who had fathered Dorian’s daughter Cassie. Although married to Herb, Dorian was at turns furiously bitter towards, and jealously possessive of David. She sought to drive a wedge between David and Jenny, going as far as seducing him. Her schemes ultimately backfired; not only was she unsuccessful at breaking up David and Jenny, Herb found out about her fling and divorced her. David and Jenny were then embroiled in a spy storyline in 1985, taking them to Vienna, Austria with Viki & Clint. Jenny and David remained in Vienna.

Thanksgiving 1983, Asa held a lavish costume ball in honor of his young wife Samantha. During the festivities, Olympia escaped captivity, revealed to Bo that she was still alive, and that Asa wasn’t really his father (the last bit turned out not to be true.) Olympia tried coaxing Bo into shooting Asa, but he couldn’t pull the trigger. When Olympia herself tried to kill her husband, Samantha lunged to save Asa and knocked Olympia and herself out a window. Only Samantha survived the fall. When she was informed that Asa was a liar and a bigamist, she dumped him then and there. Perhaps the most spectacular part of this storyline was its length. While it was all supposed to occur in the space of one night, it took up an entire month's worth of episodes, with five, hour-long episodes being aired for four whole weeks. These episodes took up approximately 20 hours of airtime and were all dedicated to the events of one single evening.

Asa and Bo promptly went on fighting – mainly over women. Bo fell in love with Delila Ralston, but Asa deliberately led them both to believe that they were half-siblings (Bo had been told by Olympia that his real father had been Yancey Ralston – Delila’s father). Asa let them know that they weren’t actually related only after he married Delila. Soon afterward, Asa faked his death to test Delila’s fidelity – she wasted no time marrying Bo! Later, aspiring country-western singer Becky Lee Abbott became pregnant with Bo’s son Drew, but married Asa instead. Later still, Bo fell in love with and married Didi O’Neill, whose father Harry O’Neill (Frank Converse) was a blue-collar workingman fighting Asa’s plans to ‘gentrify’ east Llanview. In 1986, it was revealed that throughout all the convoluted events of the past several years, Asa had been bigamously married to another woman, Pamela Stuart. Pamela was never involved with Bo in any way.

In 1985, Viki returned to the spotlight in one of the show’s landmark storylines – the return of Niki Smith. Tina returned to Llanview and uncovered proof that she was Victor Lord’s illegitimate daughter. Viki angrily refused to believe Tina’s claims, until the discovery of a secret room in Llanfair (the Lord family mansion) that Victor had used as an illicit sex den. Shocked to discover this side of her father’s persona, Viki began having ‘Niki Smith’ episodes once again. Tina hooked up with sleazy con manMitch Laurence (Roscoe Born), who concocted a plan to turn Viki into Niki permanently, which (thanks to a clause in Victor Lord’s will) would leave Tina in control of the vast Lord fortune. But when Tina discovered Mitch wanted to kill ‘Niki,’ she turned against him. ‘Niki’ remained in control for months, causing misery for Clint. Tina rebounded from her uncharacteristic bout of selflessness in order to seduce Clint. ‘Niki’ was able to imitate Viki’s mannerisms well enough to fool people into thinking she was really Viki. She then used Clint’s transgression with Tina as grounds to divorce him. Clint was eventually able to shock Viki back to her senses. With ‘Niki’ banished once more, Viki happily remarried Clint. On their wedding day, she broke the news to him that she was pregnant with his child. Almost nine months later, Viki delivered daughter Jessica.

The wildly popular Niki Smith storyline re-energized OLTL. It was during the Paul Rauch era when One Life to Live would maintain consistently high ratings, placing it in the top three of daytime soap operas from 1985 into the late 1980s.

OLTL also found success with the enormously popular supercouple pairing of Tina and good-hearted cowboy Cordero ‘Cord’ Roberts (John Loprieno). The two fell madly in love from the moment they met, but Tina was intent on marrying a rich husband. When she discovered that Cord was the illegitimate son of Clint (and potential heir to Buchanan mega-millions), she wasted no time marrying him! Cord however would soon become disgusted by Tina’s conniving ways. Complicating matters was Cord’s mother Maria Roberts (Barbara Luna), who despised Tina and sought to undermine her at every turn. Maria was also still in love with Clint, and wanted to break up Clint and Viki in order to win him back. Maria even went as far as tracking down the late Joe’s heretofore unknown long-lost twin brother Tom Dennison (like Joe, played by Lee Patterson) and bringing him to Llanview in hopes that Viki would leave Clint for him.

Mitch Laurence also returned to town to menace both Tina and Viki. In the guise of a fundamentalist minister, Mitch began leading a religious cult composed mainly of young women he seduced. He tried to rape Cassie, but was (presumably) killed in self-defense by Dorian. Dorian was wrongly found guilty of premeditated murder and sent to prison. But evidence would lead to her conviction being overturned, releasing Dorian from jail. She would continue her TV journalism career at WVLE while finding romance with private investigator, Jon Russell.

With Cassie visiting her father, David in Vienna, Dorian also found a young protege in Diane Bristol. But Diane had a dark side and was secretly involved with Jon's sociopath nephew, Jamie Sanders' criminal activity. Cassie returned to Llanview and became suspicious of Diane's focus on Dorian. Jon shared Cassie's concern and the two paired up to uncover Diane's motives. Cassie soon found herself alongside Dorian in a dangerous confrontation with an unhinged and gun-toting Diane. Dorian saved Cassie by intercepting Diane, causing her to fall to her death through her penthouse's plate glass window. Soon Dorian noticed that Cassie had grown close with Jon during the ordeal. After confronting both of them, Cassie admitted to having feelings for him, leading Dorian to break up with Jon and to her falling out with her daughter. Dorian was soon offered the opportunity to become U.S. Ambassador to the country of Mendora. After mending her rift with Cassie, Dorian would leave Llanview to begin work in her new role.

1987 - 1989[edit]

In the late 1980s, usually either Viki and Clint, or Tina and Cord were at the center of the major storylines. Viki and Clint were the show’s exemplary married couple; their love was strong enough to weather any crisis (no matter how bizarre.) Tina and Cord on the other hand broke up and reconciled (including marrying and divorcing) at a head-spinning rate. Tina genuinely tried to change her selfish ways to please Cord, but her greedy nature always got the better of her and she would alienate Cord’s affections time and again. Also at this time storylines became extremely campy but were told in a way that viewers could understand and they seemed to enjoy the change that was made as they became more and more bizarre from the Maria Roberts Saga to Viki going to Heaven, Eterna and the Crown Jewels to Mendorra.

Following the ‘Niki Smith’ saga, Allison Perkins (one of the ‘late’ Mitch Laurence’s cult disciples) kidnapped Viki’s baby Jessica for a while. This was a plot point that would have major ramifications in later years. Then in 1987, Viki underwent a brain operation to remove an aneurysm. During the operation, Viki had an out-of-body experience in which she visited Heaven and was reunited with many deceased characters, such as Victor, Meredith, Eugenia, Tony, Irene, Samantha, Harry and Vinnie. Many past cast members came back, and Lee Patterson (who was appearing as new character Tom Dennison) even resurrected his original character, Joe Riley. Viki returned to her body and woke up, and it remained unclear whether Viki had actually been to Heaven or simply dreamed it. (Though later storyline developments have made it clear that Viki was only dreaming.)

A new major family, the wealthy and powerful Sanders clan, was created with three power-house soap veterans playing the older members of the family: Emmy nominated Lois Kibbee (The Edge of Night) as powerful matriarch Elizabeth Sanders), Peter Brown (Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless, Loving) as her handsome son, Charles Sanders, ambassador to a fictional country named Mendorra, and Louise Sorel (Santa Barbara, later Days of Our Lives) as his wife, Judith Sanders, the D.A. who prosecuted Dorian for Mitch Lawrence's murder. A controversial element of their storyline had acerbic Elizabeth openly anti-Semitic towards Judith even though she was quite powerful in her own right. While the family was given some entertaining storylines (very similar to the Quartermains from General Hospital), both Brown and Sorel became restless and left after only a year. Kibbee would remain on for another two years, only taken off of contract after Elizabeth was revealed to be the mastermind behind a plot to bring down the Buchannan family as part of revenge against both Asa and Cord. She would return infrequently over the next year until a summer storyline in 1989 had her in cahoots with grandson Jaime to escape from prison, ultimately resulting in Cord and Tina being held captive by them.

OLTL does time travel[edit]

The following year, 1988, Clint was blinded by a gunshot wound to the head. After a riding accident in the Arizona desert, he regained his sight but found himself transported back in time to 1888, and the old west town "Buchanan City". While there, Clint met the lookalike ancestors of Asa, Cord and Viki (played by Carey, Loprieno and Slezak respectively.) Like "Heaven", this storyline was intended to have a vague ending – after its resolution, Clint would reappear in the present and not be able to determine if he was actually there, or had an extended hallucination. Before the storyline was finished though, the Writers Guild of America went on strike. Several scab writers rewrote the storyline so that Viki also went back in time to rescue Clint (who was on the verge of marrying her ancestor Ginny Fletcher at the time). Thus the time-travel story was definitely established as a "real" event in the history of OLTL.

As for Tina and Cord: Cord took an interest in scientist Kate Sanders (Marcia Cross), so Tina fled to Argentina with bad boy Max Holden (James DePaiva), even though she was pregnant by Cord at the time. After running afoul of drug dealers, Tina went over the Iguazu Falls in a raft and was presumed dead. (Actress Andrea Evans had it written into her contract that she get eight weeks off per year.) Meanwhile, Tina was alive and well and being kept alive in the jungle. Cord rebounded by proposing to Kate, but Tina crashed the wedding ceremony carrying a baby she claimed was Cord’s son though it was not. Baby "Al" had actually been Max’s son by Gabrielle Medina (Fiona Hutchison). Tina then got into a scuffle with Cord’s mother Maria and accidentally killed her. Because she tried to cover up her accidental involvement, Tina was wrongfully found guilty of deliberately murdering her, and sent to jail for several months. After getting out of jail, Tina learned she had not miscarried Cord’s son after her plunge over the falls, but that a ring of baby-sellers had stolen the child. Tina and Max tracked down the baby, and Max had to storm a castle ramparts to rescue both Tina and the baby (named Clint Jr. or C.J. Roberts in honor of Clint, who was thought dead at the time.) Tina almost married Max, but while saying her vows, she said Cord's name by accident. This caused Max to abruptly leave her at the altar.

Max and Gabrielle became popular characters in their own right and were spun off into their own storyline. Another popular new character at the time was Renee Divine (played mainly by Patricia Elliott) as the new love of Asa’s life. For years, Asa had typically favored trophy wives, much younger women whom he could control (or attempt to control). However, Renee was his peer, and a former Texas madam. She was worldly and strong-willed enough to stand up to Asa, whom she often called an "old coot".

Patrick London impersonates Bo Buchanan[edit]

Bo returned to Llanview (actor Robert S. Woods had left the series for two years), and took center-stage for a while in 1988. When he came back to town, he was mysteriously divorced from his wife Didi, and acted quite strangely. Several months after his return, it was revealed that this was not the real Bo but an impostor (nicknamed Faux Bo) who was part of Elizabeth Sanders' elaborate scheme to stage a hostile takeover of Buchanan Industries. The real Bo, his wife Didi, and even his ex-wife Delila, were being held prisoner in a bunker. The real Bo, who escaped imprisonment and had a showdown with his impostor, thwarted the hostile takeover scheme. Alas, Didi was killed, but Bo eventually found happiness again with Sarah Gordon(Jensen Buchanan), who had been Clint’s therapist during the time he was blind.

Soap within a soap Fraternity Row[edit]

OLTL engaged in some meta-humor in 1988 when several characters became involved with the production of a fictional soap opera called Fraternity Row. The backstage antics at the soap became a central storyline for OLTL for several years. The star of the soap was Sarah's sister Megan Gordon (Jessica Tuck), a petty diva. Megan got involved with Max, who took her down a peg or two. But Megan would have a major impact in the life of central heroine Viki. Much to her surprise, Viki learned that she had become Niki Smith while still a teenager (much earlier than anyone knew) and that her father Victor had a hypnotist erase her memory of the incident. Even more shocking was the revelation that Viki/Niki had given birth to a daughter. (Adding insult to injury, Viki's longtime best friend Larry Wolek had delivered the baby and helped Victor cover the incident up.) Eventually, Viki would learn that the baby she had given birth to was Megan. But there were plenty of bizarre twists and turns to unravel before mother and daughter were reunited…

The Lost Underground City of Eterna[edit]

OLTL took a turn towards science fiction in early 1989 as, through Michael Grande's machinations, Viki and several others (including Tina, Cord, Gabrielle and several others) were trapped in the underground city of Eterna. Alone with Viki in the underground city, Roger Gordon finally confessed his long-buried secret: He was raised in Eterna, but had found a way to escape. He met Viki when she was in high school. They made love. One day, Viki watched in horror as the entrance to Eterna exploded. Believing that Roger was dead, she turned into Niki Smith. Viki/Niki gave birth to his daughter, Megan. She had carried the baby as Niki, then later turned back to Viki during childbirth, but Victor had her hypnotized to forget the birth. He then paid Roger to take the baby and leave town. Viki was amazed to learn that Megan, who had been her adversary, was actually her flesh and blood. While in Eterna, Viki and Roger's old feelings for each other began to resurface. Led by Clint, the authorities located and rescued everyone trapped inside just before Eterna collapsed.

Viki enjoyed an uneasy "reunion" with her reluctant daughter, Megan. In time, Viki and Megan mended their fences and came to respect, admire and love each other. Megan became the center of attention on OLTL, and had several comical adventures with Marco Dane (who returned to the show after a five-year absence).

Austin terrorizes Llanview[edit]

Austin Buchanan, son of Asa's brother, Pike, arrived in town and became obsessed with Sarah Gordon. He set out to steal her from Bo. Austin knew that Bo and Michael Grande were mortal enemies, so he rigged the brakes on Michael's car to fail. The accident killed Alicia and her baby, and injured Gabrielle instead! Audrey Ames (Pia Porter), also on the road that night, was hit by the car driven by Gabrielle, putting her in a wheelchair. Austin framed Bo for the car crash that killed Alicia, and her baby and injured Gabrielle and Audrey. Austin eventually confessed to the crime, but wanted Sarah to make love to him. She tried to put him off, but he became angry and brutally raped her. After the rape, Sarah shot Austin. To protect her, Cord and Asa buried Austin's body. However, the evil Buchanan cousin was not dead after all! He crawled out of his shallow grave, and sought revenge on Sarah. Austin's reign of terror quickly came to an end. After taking Viki and Megan hostage, Clint found them and shot Austin. Felled by Clint's bullet, Austin plunged out a high-rise window to his death, but not before shooting Viki.

As the decade drew to a close, OLTL featured a rehash of the classic Karen/Jenny baby-switch storyline. This time, Gabrielle (aided by Austin) switched Michael’s and the late Alicia’s baby (who died shortly after being born) with that of Brenda Grande’s baby. At the same time, Megan went into a fugue state in which she believed she was her Fraternity Row character Ruby Bright, a riff on her mother Viki’s Niki Smith escapades. Both stories, however, were well received by critics and fans.

The Fraternity Row Stalker[edit]

Another infamous story saw the soap, Fraternity Row being stalked from January to March 1989 as numerous past death scenes were recreated and used to kill the cast and crew as producer Randy was killed by a falling chandelier, Bo was attacked, Audrey was nearly strangled, Bo saved Sarah from a bomb, an explosion destroyed the lab and many other death plots. Bo soon discovered that anyone who seemed to put Mari-Lynn Dennison down died! Jon Russell, Melinda Cramer, Mari-Lynn, Sarah Gordon and Bo himself all teamed up to catch the killer. Prime suspects were Casey an autisticstagehand and Neil, another stagehand with a deep love for Mari-Lynn. The killer then tried to kill off Sarah again by pushing a stone gargoyle from a church rooftop where they were filming location scenes. Bo rescued her and while filming location scenes at Duke University, Sarah realized Neil was indeed the killer so Neil stopped Sarah from escaping and chloroformed her as she cried out for Bo. He then dragged her to the University clock tower where he held Sarah captive. Mari-Lynn, Wade and Bo located Neil and Sarah and burst into the tower to rescue Sarah. Neil had an axe to defend himself with and pushed Wade over a railing as Mari-Lynn hovered over Neil in tears. Bo fell down a flight of stairs as Neil headed over to kill Sarah, Wade and Bo until Bo battled Neil one last time before the cops arrived.

The Infamous Crown Jewels of Mendorra[edit]

Tina Lord Roberts set out to pursue the lost Crown Jewels of Mendorra for Michael Grande throughout the summer despite her family's dismay. But what she did not know was that many of her past enemies were also after the jewels among them being Jamie and Elizabeth Sanders and Ursula Blackwell. To escape prison, Ursula set off a bomb that allowed numerous convicts to escape and they fled to the rundown Seaside Arena in Atlantic City where Tina and Cord were captured and held prisoner. They were forced into doing many wacky things including Cord wrestling the Titan in a wrestling ring and Tina and Ursula wrestling! Then Tina was put on a "murder trial" in the ring for killing Ursula's father Cornelius who fell out of a lighthouse window trying to save Tina in 1988. After the trial in which Tina escaped death row, Jamie and Elizabeth planned to flee the Arena on a helicopter and Leave Tina and Cord to die when the arena blew up. But Titan and Ursula dragged Tina and Cord away from their cells and strapped Tina to Ursula's homemade electric chair where Ursula fried Tina. However, the cops invade the Arena and the convicts are captured and Cord is reunited with an alive and well Tina.


1979-1980 Season (HH Ratings)[edit]

1981-1982 Season (HH Ratings)[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 11.2
  • 2. All My Children 9.4
  • 3. One Life to Live 9.3
  • 4. Guiding Light 8.0
  • 5. The Young and the Restless 7.4

1982-1983 Season[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 9.8
  • 2. All My Children 9.4
  • 3. One Life to Live 8.1
  • 4. The Young and the Restless 8.0
  • 5. As the World Turns 7.6

1983-1984 Season[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 10.0
  • 2. All My Children 9.1
  • 3. The Young and the Restless 8.8
  • 4. One Life to Live 8.2
  • 5. Guiding Light 8.1

1984-1985 Season (HH Ratings)[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 9.1
  • 2. All My Children 8.2
  • 3. The Young and the Restless 8.1
  • 4. Guiding Light 7.5
  • 5. One Life to Live 7.3

1985-1986 Season[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 9.2
  • 2. The Young and the Restless 8.3
  • 3. All My Children 8.0
  • 4. One Life to Live 7.8
  • 5. Days of our Lives 7.2

1986-1987 Season[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 8.3
  • 2. The Young and the Restless 8.0
  • 3. One Life to Live 7.2
  • 4. All My Children 7.0
  • 4. Days of our Lives 7.0

1987-1988 Season[edit]

  • 1. General Hospital 8.1 (#1 in viewers)
  • 2. The Young and the Restless 8.1 (#2 in viewers)
  • 3. One Life to Live 7.7
  • 3. All My Children 7.7
  • 5. Days of our Lives 7.1

1988-1989 Season (HH Ratings)[edit]

  • 1. The Young and the Restless 8.1
  • 2. General Hospital 7.5
  • 3. One Life to Live 7.1
  • 4. All My Children 6.7
  • 5. Days of our Lives 6.5

See also[edit]

One Life to Live Theme (1995-2004)

A Survivor of a Suicide Attempt Writes of His State of ‘Eternal Dying’


When you purchase an independently reviewed book through our site, we earn an affiliate commission.

    A Story of Suicide and Survival
    By Donald Antrim

    On a chilly spring day in 2006, Donald Antrim ascended to the roof of his four-story Brooklyn apartment building and climbed onto the outer edge of the fire escape. When he looked down, he felt himself fall out of time; he saw the trash-strewn concrete patio below and an orange sun sinking to the west. He heard a helicopter overhead and wondered whether it was coming for him. Before he climbed to the roof, he had called a couple of friends. He knew they were on their way. He also knew they would hit traffic. Suspended from the fire escape, he released one hand, then reached back up and grasped the railing. He did this with alternating hands numerous times until his palms became sore. Darkness fell. He grew cold. He did not know why he had climbed to the roof, hung from the fire escape, loosened his grip — “why that was mine to do,” Antrim writes in “One Friday in April.” But he knew it was not an impulsive act. “Up there on the roof, I felt as if I had been dying all my life.”

    Antrim was 47 that afternoon. He had built an enviable career as a novelist and short story writer who published regularly in The New Yorker. But he wrestled with memories of alcoholic parents, a childhood of abuse and neglect, and failed romantic partnerships. Previous bouts of therapy and medication had not lessened his pain. After his suicide attempt, he envisioned a terrible future: “poverty, abandonment by my remaining family members, the inability to write or work, the dissolution of friendships, professional and artistic oblivion, loneliness and deterioration, institutionalization and the removal from society.”

    He knew he had exhausted the patience and pity of his loved ones and he was terrified of mental hospitals: “The doctors would drug and shock me.” Death seemed preferable to a life lived within “stone dungeons.” He climbed off the fire escape and sat against a rooftop bulkhead for a long time. He later learned that he had been up there for five hours. Eventually, he made it down the stairs to his third-floor apartment, and his terrified friends rushed him to the hospital.

    He refers to himself as a survivor of suicide, a designation that defies our traditional understanding of suicide attempts. Throughout this engrossing, necessary book — part memoir, part philosophical treatise — he argues that suicide is “a disease process, not an act or a choice.” Those who suffer from mental illness and die by (or “of”) suicide do not take their own lives, Antrim says, but have their lives taken from them. There is no will involved when one succumbs to disease. He insists that the language we use to talk about and write about suicide matters, and that when we ascribe agency to the afflicted (“killing” oneself or “committing” suicide), we misrepresent their experience and belittle their struggle. There are obvious exceptions to this understanding of suicide: terminally ill patients, hunger strikers, kamikaze pilots.

    Antrim isn’t a psychiatrist, and this is not an empirical study. Rather, it is intimate testimony from someone who has lived through an illness long shrouded in silence, shame and sin. Antrim speaks with the moral authority of the survivor when he describes suicide’s origins in “trauma and isolation,” or when he writes about how mental illness metastasizes under conditions of loneliness and stigma. “Am I untouchable because I am sick,” he asks us, “or am I sick because I am not touched?”

    Antrim spent four months in the New York State Psychiatric Institute (“a place I’d never heard of”), where he secured a bed with the help of a psychiatrist friend. Here, in Upper Manhattan, he saw no padded cells or straitjackets. The ward was “open and light,” staffed with caring nurses and doctors who were determined to keep him alive. It was a place of mercy and sanctuary, nothing like the nightmarish mental hospitals in “The Snake Pit” or “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”: “The patients were not beaten, humiliated, or shoved aside. Medication was never forced. Solitude was possible, but no one was kept in isolation. … There was soap on the bathroom sink ledge, and coffee with breakfast, and the comfort of other patients. We need our hospitals.” Nurses checked on him every 20 minutes, all day and night. Sometimes a nurse never left a patient’s side. Antrim still believed that he was “ruined” and would be institutionalized, but he found relief in the fact that he “could not easily die in the hospital.”

    Friends who visited seemed to exist on the other side of a glass wall. “They lived in historical time, not in eternal dying. They had yesterdays, and a today and a tomorrow.” Antrim’s inventive, circular prose style reflects his sense of warped time: Hours bend, fragment, compress, extend. The narrative catapults forward, then backward — a kind of chronological whiplash that dislocates us in time and place. Flashbacks of parental neglect flow into descriptions of the psychiatric ward, then back again to childhood. Just when we start to put the pieces of Antrim’s life together, he wrenches us away from the relief of comprehension. The medium is the message: Suicide, as Antrim understands it, is a continuum of emotional pain.

    After two months in the hospital, Antrim’s condition worsened. He charged a nurse’s station, insisting that his illness was physical rather than mental. His doctors told him electroconvulsive therapy was an “excellent” next best option. He balked at the suggestion, “terrified” that it would erase his memory and leave him a shell of his former self. “Who could save me? I wandered around the ward, crying.” He finally consented after an unexpected phone call from David Foster Wallace, who said that ECT had helped him in the 1980s and could save Antrim’s life.

    The procedure worked; afterward, Antrim felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his body. He noticed colors again and “the world seemed to be filled with light.” After he was discharged, he went on to experience the “aftershocks” of suicide — feelings of worthlessness, shame, paralysis — and returned to the hospital for more rounds of ECT. This time, the treatment was less effective, but he no longer felt himself in that state of “eternal dying.” The psychiatric hospital — the institution he had so feared that afternoon up on the roof — had saved him.

    “The notion that we choose death over pain, fundamental to our current thinking on suicide, suggests that we choose at all,” Antrim writes, “as if some part of us exists outside the illness, unaffected, taking in the situation and making rational decisions.” One hopes this brief, courageous book will bring us closer to the “paradigm shift” Antrim seeks — a reckoning that could bring about better funding for mental health research, more affordable psychiatric beds and less societal stigma.

    Suicide, Antrim insists, is not “enigmatic,” but the result of an illness that requires aggressive medical treatment and community support. For too long we have turned away, especially from our most vulnerable populations: the homeless, the incarcerated. Antrim urges us to do better. Like anyone afflicted with a life-threatening disease, “the suicide wants to live.”


    To live life eterna one

    No, my dear, Mahrima will smack you on the heels until your nails bleed. Or until you give us your testimony. '' Still sobbing, Esma took off her belt, pulled down her trousers, and pulled the anters and silk blouse over her head. Despite her anger, Sitt-Hinum involuntarily admired her body: a gentle strong belly, sloping shoulders, full-bodied breasts.

    OLTL-Lysander \u0026 Larry Recalls Viki Giving Birth To Megan While Viki's Under Hypnosis 1988

    To laugh and cheerfully answer the guys. At that moment, Aizanat entered the courtyard, she harshly called out to Bariyat, called her over to her, scolded her and promised to tell. Her parents everything.

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    I continued to caress her, then the clitoris, then inserting my fingers into her pussy. Feelings are amazing. I never did that, I never caressed another girl. And then a friend, and even right at the lecture, naked.

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